Tuesday quote: your zombie apocalypse is in the mall

Overheard in my local mall the other weekend: ‘This place would be really defensible in a zombie apocalypse.’

Handy to know. I had thought of hiding out in the local pub, I saw a movie once where they tried that. Didn’t work of course. Wouldn’t at my local, either, I suspect. Does your local mall shape up the same way? What would you do in a zombie apocalypse?

Copyright © Matthew Wright 2012

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13 comments on “Tuesday quote: your zombie apocalypse is in the mall

  1. corisel says:

    Well, now that you mention it, my boyfriend and just got back on Monday from a trip around both islands of NZ. I wonder if it was our conversation that was overheard as the chance of survival in a zombie apocalypse came up every where we went. I guess its possible – as you said in your 6 degrees post, New Zealand has a fairly small population.

    The Italian restaurant we ate at in Te Anau was the winner.It had these excellent chairs with metal legs and was directly opposite a supermarket, a chemist and a hunting and fishing store.

    We figured we could fight our way out of the restaurant using the chairs as shields/weapons. We would then use them to break the window of the hunting store and equip ourselves with weapons, hunting and camping survival gear . Then, on to the chemist for as many medical supplies and anitbiotics as we could carry, and finally to the supermarket for canned food and bottled water.

    After that, we’d find a campervan (seemed to be a lot of them) and drive somewhere remote, to wait it out. That, of course was the sticking point – do they ever end?

    • I overheard this in a mall in Lower Hutt (the one Anna Paquin used to go to when she lived nearby as a kid, speaking of small worlds), on the Sunday just gone, around noon. Hope you liked NZ and the rain wasn’t too much a damper, global warming’s doing quite a number on our stable summers. That south-western South Island is just SO spectacular though.

  2. My local mall would definitely be the last place to hit. I would likely just stay home since it’s quite defendable. Of course, staying would require some trips for supplies.

    • Home’s definitely good if it’s defendable. Most Kiwis have got emergency kits, water etc already because it’s an earthquake zone and the Christchurch quakes have set everybody on edge a bit.

      • Finland is a bad place for zombies. We have wolves, bears, wolverines and lynx, that sometimes (very rarely, but sometimes) come all the way into the city even with live humans who will invariably cause them harm (usually just a headache and a trip back to the wilderness. I would think the smell of rotting corpses would draw them in by hordes. Also, we have a cold winter which has been known to kill live people by freezing them into place.
        I’m good, ’cause we live high up and we have emergency kits just because I used to work on a ship and I like to be prepared. :)

  3. Is this where I cheat because I am in the military and would say after raiding the armory and the supply depot (rations are important) I would go to somewhere with a good long view of the surrounding and thick walls? Oh and I would grab a tank. Probably the light armor kind that is fast and agile. Not to mention I have been trained with light armor tanks and not the big ones. That kind of helps.

    • We have some of those in NZ – LAV’s with 25mm Bushmaster cannon. Picked up for speeding on the highway, among other things… :-)

      • That is the exact same vehicle I was talking about. And I have been in one when highway patrol decided that going over 100 mph isn’t a good or legal idea in a tank. Have to admit that the 25mm would make short work of zombies. Got to love a fully automatic cannon that can shoot rounds that have a 5 meter kill radius.

  4. Lesann says:

    I’m cheating. I live at the base of a volcano…figure we can chuck them in one at a time. Like firewood. Zombies burn, right? I think so.

  5. I live near a facility that puts military tanks through their paces…I’m thinking that using one as a souped up SUV would help you get around on your daily tasks, getting mail, groceries…backing up periodically would deal with the zombie problem with hardly a notice…: 0 )

  6. […] No zombie apocalypse quote this week. Maybe next (trust me, it’s gonna happen, soon as those shopping malls reach critical mass). […]

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