Ever got frustrated dodging lunch time crowds on busy city streets?
Don’t worry. It’s all part of the Secret Footpath Protocol Scoring Game, revealed here for the first time.
1. Walking very slowly, randomly drifting from left to right, oblivious to other people. One point for every person blocked.
2. Lighting a cigarette and leaving it burning so as to choke everybody behind in a fog of disgusting carcinogens. One point for everybody who tries to get away from the stinking trail.
3. Drifting to a halt, aimlessly, in front of a shop window, door or ATM machine, waiting a moment, then drifting a little further, oblivious to people. One point for everybody blocked as they try to get around.
4. Walking with iron purpose if anybody approaches from the other direction. One point for everybody forced to dodge (this doesn’t work if they’re trying to score points back the other way).
So now you know. And, of course, as you can’t beat ’em…may as well join ’em…
Copyright © Matthew Wright 2013