The other day my wife ordered a latte – which she then had to photograph because of the way the coffee and soy happened to mix, a kind of ‘ooer, that looks a bit rude’ shape, if you looked at it the right way.
The point being that NASA has been getting stick for apparently drawing the same thing. Thing, I did say ‘thing’, didn’t I? A sand drawing, with its Spirit rover, right there on the Martian pud, I mean pug.
Purely accidental. Honestly, officer. (“Pfft, chortle, ooer, that looks a bit rude“).
OK, so if ”paredoilia’ is seeing faces in random patterns, what’s the word when people perceive what in old Devonshire dialect was a ‘tallywag’, outlined in Martian tyre trails (but only if you look at it sideways).
The good news? In 2023, four lucky people will get the chance to see NASA’s – er – artwork in person. Maybe. A Dutch fellow is looking for people to go on a one-way trip. Unlike Denis Tito’s plan for a couple to spend a 501-day marital sojourn in a Dragon capsule, lining the walls with their own excrement, this one will involve landing on Mars. Also in modified Dragon that, I suspect, would be like living in a 1960s police phone box which, alas, wasn’t bigger on the inside.
Taking off again? Uh…no…
Which means the life support system has to last forever. I expect it’ll be made of duct tape. Eventually. Oh – and the voyage’s going to be turned into reality TV.
Would I go? Plus side…
1. I’d be on a different planet from Justin Bieber and his monkey.
2. It would get me on TV along with re-runs of The World’s Greatest Loser.
3. You don’t have to line the walls with your own excrement like Tito’s crew.
4. If I wanted to be called the next Jeddak of Barsoom, I’d be in the right place, unlike now when they all look at me funny.
5. I’d get a front row seat for the next ‘NASA drawing’ on Mars.
But I have to say that the green hills of Earth are looking pretty good about now.
Would you go on a one-way trip to Mars? And what do you think NASA should draw next on the Red Planet?
Copyright © Matthew Wright 2013