Is your elected representative a robot body double?

According to reports I’ve read, a US congressional candidate recently alleged that his opponent, the incumbent Congressman, had been killed and replaced with an artificial body double.

Look-alike artificial doubles? Secret assassinations in the Ukraine? Cool! I always knew US politics were more interesting than New Zealand’s. So – what’s happening? I have several hypotheses:

(a)  The allegation is literally true and we must now suspect that anybody, anywhere in the world, could be a robot double.

(b) We are all actually trapped in an episode of the Six Million Dollar Man from 1974 (the robot body double idea was used in at least two episodes that I can recall).

(c) The Cylons are among us, and they have a plan.

This is pure speculation and I couldn’t possibly suppose which, if any, of these may be right. Maybe none. And yet, although I myself was replaced by a robot double four times last week alone, for some reason I feel dubious about hypothesis (a). My bet is on (c). You?

Copyright © Matthew Wright 2014


20 thoughts on “Is your elected representative a robot body double?

  1. If you were a robot double, of course you’d say you feel dubious about hypothesis (a). Can’t think of a better way to throw us off the trail than having us obsess about fictional aliens while you and your fellow machines slowly take over the world. But I’m onto you, I am. No robot is going to catch me unaw-

  2. The reports are in-in-incorrect. There are /no-no-no artificial body doubles. We are real humans /// repeat line 954 code\oops.

  3. I’ve had enough of my robot body double. She’s always spending money I don’t have and making a mess around the house. I’m leaving in the morning to spend a week in New Mexico and have told her to clean-up the apartment while I’m gone. 🙂

    1. My wife thought I might be replaced by a robot double that also paid proper attention to the housework, but unfortunately the robot double had exactly the same attitude to it that I do… 🙂

  4. It’s actually common knowledge that most of Congress has been replaced by robots. Many of these models are old and the installed artificial intelligence cannot receive software updates. This makes them quite easy to identify by their behavior.

    1. The capacity to tell an obvious lie with no sign at all of distress.
    2. The lack of ethics or any moral fiber.
    3. Since older AIs have quite crude decision-making capability, they can debate at length producing no meaningful outcomes.
    4. Although registered as Republican or Democrat, their voting record reveals no significant difference between the two.
    5. The capacity to claim another politician’s behavior is reprehensible, and then immediately duplicate the behavior.

    It is theorized that Putin has been replaced with a robot. Many feel the obvious attempt to take over Crimea and the rest of Ukraine by bits and bites is proof of madness. In fact, it’s proof he’s a robot. That this model is actually making decisions is proof that it is one of the newer versions.

    1. Putin as robot would explain a great deal. There are persistent rumours that he visits New Zealand incognito. A friend of mine is sure he even saw Putin walking near the Russian Embassy in Wellington. Seems unlikely to me. But a robot would explain it all perfectly. There could be many copies.

      1. I would expect the real one visits New Zealand for a much-needed vacation. Why not? It’s a beautiful country. He probably leaves the robot in the cold and treachery of Moscow.

  5. I’m in the US, and I didn’t know we might have a robot congressperson! I’m glad to know such things. Maybe we can program the people in congress to actually work together and get things done?

  6. Yet another story I missed just when I was thinking we had reached the bottom finally–it’s all my fault for thinking–stupidity knows no depth. Here in the U.S., we can not only prove that but trot it out and let it speak!!!! I’ve given up thinking and have put on my tin foil cap in hopes of attracting aliens. What other hope is there?

    Wonderful, wonderful post, Matthew.
    P.S. I am serious about beaming for aliens….

    1. Stupidity is endless and without limit these days, alas! We’re coming up to an election here and the loonies are emerging. I have no actual interest in politics, or desire to go anywhere near the territory, but my long-standing plan to set up the ‘Stupid person standing in the corner looking stupid’ party has in any case foundered on the unfortunate point that the real candidates seem to have already occupied the ground. They include one (minor) party leader who, while he doesn’t deny the moon landings took place, also says he can’t verify that they happened. I expect he’ll field votes.

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