The other day somebody found my blog with a search string that I just had to commemorate in the title of this post.
The present tense worried me. Does somebody out there, you know – know something? I’ve always suspected that the Nazi leadership might have escaped in April 1945, perhaps using one of their atomic Luftwaffe UFOs, and even now are lurking in a secret Antarctic base, plotting a hideous revenge on the world.
Before we know it, their deranged super-soldiers – led, naturally, by zombie robo-Hitler – will be surging northwards to unleash new horror on the world. My worry is that my country, New Zealand, is likely to be in their way. I mean, the Nazis have had it in for us ever since the battle at Minqar Qa’im.
As for how many parts of their super-soldiers are ‘non-Nazi‘? Well, that depends on whether they decided to sub-contract to the cheapest third-party manufacturer, maybe a factory somewhere that sweat-shops T-shirts, evil atomic-powered knee joints, domestic appliances, biscuits, evil nuclear death ray projectors and so on.
The fact that outsourcing to the lowest bidder increases the chance of robo-Stormtroopers shorting out 38 seconds after the inevitable “Hände hoch, Neuseeländer schweine!” doesn’t alleviate my unease. The Nazis re-defined evil. Yet nobody has bothered to go looking for that secret Antarctic base. In fact, people laugh uproariously or look at you funny if you suggest it. But suppose it’s true? I mean, nobody’d care if they occupied Dipton. But if they get further north? It’s a worry.
Copyright © Matthew Wright 2015