The dangers of talking around loud music

I went into a coffee shop the other day intending to buy scones – which they make and sell on the premises. The place was filled with techno-elevator music at shattering volume. I asked for the scones. And then the fun began.

Writing fuel!
Writing fuel!

Music: THOP THOP THOP THOP
Counter goon: Worb blurb wob with your coffee?
Me: (pausing to try and parse that) I didn’t ask for coffee, can I please have scones.
Goon: Wob blog coffee wob glurg?
Music: THOP THOP THOP THOP
Me: No! I did NOT ask for coffee. (Points to scones).
Music: THOP THOP THOP THOP
Goon: Blob wob wob want wurb toast wibble?
Me: I don’t want toast.
Music: THOP THOP THOP THOP
Goon: Blurble toast wob wob scone?
Me: (after another pause trying to parse for meaning) Look, I can’t understand a word you’re saying, the music’s too loud.

He turned it down and normal communications began, but alas, these didn’t make a lot more sense. I eventually walked out with the scones, wondering whether the chat I’d just had was a side effect of techno-elevator music on human intellect, or if it was just because it was a Friday and everybody’s brain is at half-mast on Fridays.

Copyright © Matthew Wright 2016


6 thoughts on “The dangers of talking around loud music

  1. Yeah, when the music is loud (and it’s something I like) I don’t feel like talking to anyone. It breaks up my vibe. Likewise, when I want to talk with someone I don’t like the music loud. It breaks up any chance of me hearing them. It seems you went through the perils of Ulysses to get hat scone.

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