Neanderthal cave talk on any day in the Dordogne, 46,000 years ago

Wright_Neanderthal

La Ferassie cave, 46,000 years before the present. About lunch time.

Krogg: [using foot to push bellows fanning the camp-fire] Krogg see funny thin people with big foreheads yesterday.
Thog: Thog see them too.
Krogg: Krogg think they not human. Face too small. Weak. We better.
Thog: Hargh hargh hargh. Stupid funny people.
Grorg: Grorg shake funny thin man by arm. Arm break. Hargh hargh hargh.
Thog and Krogg: Hargh hargh hargh.

[long pause. THOG checks the fire and starts pushing the bellows]

Grorg: Grorg bored.
Thog
: Thog bored. Thog hungry. Thog want MEAT.
Krogg: Krogg want MEAT and WOMAN.
Grorg: Hargh hargh hargh.
Thogg and Krogg: Hargh hargh hargh.

[another long pause with more bellows-pushing]

Krogg: Krogg thinks epoxy ready. Put fire out. We glue points to spears. And make gum.
Thog: Thog think stupid funny people don’t know about epoxy. Hargh hargh hargh.
Grorg: Grorg think they not smart. Hargh hargh hargh.

Copyright © Matthew Wright 2016


6 thoughts on “Neanderthal cave talk on any day in the Dordogne, 46,000 years ago

  1. Political Think Tank: Present Day

    “Moose” Williams: Those guys dumb. They lose election.
    “Grog” Johnson: Yeah! They try tell truth.
    “Moose” Williams: They no understand art of lying.
    “Grog” Johnson: Yeah! We better for country. We lie better. Hargh hargh hargh.

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