Jamming in with the shopping zombies… again…

I went into single combat with a suburban mall on the weekend, trying to buy some oddments I need for next week, right on some of the last major shopping days before Christmas.

The Zombie Christmas Maul

What gets me is not so much the crowds pushing and shoving to buy as much cheap and glitzy tat as they can because, you know, Christmas is all about spending. Or the kids hurtling around hyperventilating and screaming in abject pain as if they’ve just been attacked by some psychopath, all because their Mum told them they couldn’t have candy.

No, it’s the fact that after about 2 minutes exposure to the barrage of lights and sound all anybody in those malls can do is shuffle around in circles going ‘braaaaainnns….’, while passing cash over to anybody they see behind a counter.

I did think of going to another mall, but I suspect they’re all the same. Thoughts?

Copyright © Matthew Wright 2017


15 thoughts on “Jamming in with the shopping zombies… again…

  1. Two methods. Either park at furthest corner of car park to avoid the endless circling to get a space, rush in, complete list asap and depart before becoming a zombie oneself – or rock up at to shop at KMart at 10pm when most other zombies have run out of oomph. If you make it a challenge, Christmas shopping can still be fun!

    1. Nooooo, not K-Mart! There is a new mega K-mart in Petone which doesn’t just draw zombies to itself, it draws zombie cars too – they clog every street with perma-gridlock for blocks around…. Braaaaaiiins…..

  2. Haven’t been to the shopping mall yet. Hopefully I can escape that fate. Nor the lower grade equivalent, i.e., WalMart. Doubt I’ll be able to escape Sam’s. Maybe I can escape to Barnes & Noble. If the zombies don’t gather outside in their search for brraaaainnns.

  3. You need to have a strategy, like the ones Bev & Eddie suggested. Or you shop online. Or you don’t shop at all from December 1st to 26th, in which case you have to plan ahead anyway, and lay in essential supplies before the craziness starts.

  4. I avoid these places at all costs and either shop online or, if it’s essential, head to a bookstore or whatnot to get something groovy. The malls in England seem to be the same over in New Zealand – whatever time of year it is, they’re crammed with folks consuming stuff.

    1. Yeah, they’re homogenised these days worldwide. There was a mall near Wellington that was quite quirky – and which was promptly demolished around 1999-2000 and replaced with a clone of Every Other Mall Ever. When it went up I heard disturbing rumours about inadequate quake-proofing. Sure enough, the Mw 7.8 Kaikoura shock last year – which clobbered Wellington badly because a lot of the energy was transmitted north – left the mall’s main cinema block in such a parlous state there were fears it would collapse if there were any other shocks. It was demolished – and fast – but the fact was that it should have stood up to the level of shaking.

  5. Zombies is an appropriate word for shoppers around this time of year, it’s ridiculous. I try to avoid such places like the plague. When the shops start shelving Christmas decorations in November and play Christmas carols the moment December rolls in I’m so over it by then. We usually do our Christmas shopping online. That just leaves groceries, which gets done early in the mornings. Doing it this way not only helps avoid the majority of the zombie hordes, it helps avoid the worst of the summer heat.

  6. hahaha this is why I try to stick to online shopping at this time of year and basically avoid all the main shopping streets at this time of year 😉 (not just Oxford St but the area around it too) I admire your bravery for venturing out into the madness 😉

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