How to buy technological gadgets, Part 486

I tried to buy a piece of tech gear the other day. I didn’t know whether it would do one or two things that I needed – the online documentation wasn’t clear. But I was sure the tech shop I went to could help. The discussion (with a certain amount of hyperbole) went something like this:

Why yes, my Dreyer FCT does have an on-switch… somewhere. And a bicycle chain. 3d model by Rob Brassington via the Dreadnought Project. CC2 license.

Me: How do you switch it on and off?

Assistant: I’ll have to ask my manager

Manager: Good afternoon sir, in order to arglebargle thangorodrim whomp  using wireless connectivity bingle manglewurzle ungulant phone app. Does that answer your question?

Me: No.

Manager: What part of thibble wurp Hartlepool in aspic noddycar umbleumble did you not follow?

Me: All of it.

Manager: But everybody knows how to do this.

Me: Well, I don’t.

Manager: it’s very simple. To umblpoop bribble you merely need to dribdoop ambleomble bip bip bip kadoodle kradablap.

Me: I just want to know how to switch it on and off.

Manager: As I say, all you have to do is thangorodrim booble arglebargle the phone app manglewurzle.

Me: Can I turn it on and off at the wall? I know how to use a wall switch.

Manager: But it’s so easy to omble poog dribble bip so as to arglebargle thangorodrim.

It was about this time that I realised I was too stupid to actually own one of these devices although, curiously, I later bought one from a competitor’s store where they could tell me what the terms they were using meant. Sigh…

Copyright © Matthew Wright 2018

2 thoughts on “How to buy technological gadgets, Part 486

  1. Technology is certainly moving forward day by day, take drones for instance. Many people use these for there photography work and filming weddings to even make great discoveries. There are a lot of cool and great gadgets out there which can help us in our daily lives. Excellent article by the way really enjoyed it, I have liked and followed you.


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