Which recipe would you eat?

Hey folks, I’ve been back to cooking again, and I’ve got a couple of rice recipes which I can’t choose between. Which of these sounds better?

  1. Boiled rice glop served in a revolting steaming splatter on a plate

Ingredients
½ cup rice
1 cup frozen carrots and peas
½ cup grated cheese
Tomato sauce
1 cup parmesan

Method
This is a great dish, because if you do it right, you’ll never be asked to cook again. Throw everything into a pot of boiling water. When the water’s boiled away, it’s probably cooked, so scrape it out of the pot and lob it on to a plate, flicking the serving utensil so the mess actually departs the spoon. Scrape up any splats of rice that missed the plate and bury them in the pile. Splorch a glob or two of tomato sauce over it and mix in the Parmesan to create a steaming and messy splatter, with chunks of carrot and peas clearly visible in the otherwise undefineable mess, all with that sharp butyric acid tang to it for added ‘realism’. Serves 2.

  1. Fluffy summer rice risotto

Ingredients
½ cup rice
1 cup frozen mixed vegetables
½ cup grated cheese
Tomato sauce
1 cup parmesan

Method
Lightly cook the rice, vegetables and cheese in an iron-bottomed pot of fresh boiling spring water, until the water evaporates. Remove from heat and use a designer brass skillet to craft an artistic display on the serving plate in the abstract expressionist style of Jackson Pollock. Garnish with a drizzled rain of tomato sauce and Parmesan for that lovely sharp tangyness. Bring to your wood-oil dining table finished in its Arts and Crafts style and enjoy a meal of summery scrummulousness for two.

Thoughts?

Copyright © Matthew Wright 2018

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15 thoughts on “Which recipe would you eat?

    1. It is, though alas it doesn’t undo the underlying revoltingness of the recipe. It’s the sort of thing that the Young Ones might have cooked, if they weren’t always making Neil boil lentils. I don’t think I am cut out to write cookbooks! 🙂

    1. I normally wouldn’t either, but No. 1 recipe is less revolting if the cheese isn’t boiled… I must admit, I actually do make a variant on the mix which basically is a warm rice salad with cheese thrown in afterwards.

  1. It would depend on whether I was cooking for myself or someone else. I eat a lot of things that others would turn their nose up at. It is interesting that one of my goals fr 2019 is to rekindle my love of baking. I may even post a little on my wins and loses.

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