I often wonder, in idle moments, how we might talk to aliens if they turned up suddenly. The problem is that aliens are – well, alien. Picture the scene:
- Aliens turn up. Their language, to our ears, has just one word, ‘blubbleblop’. Nobody realises they communicate by eye movement and the sound is a product of their digestive system at work. Hilarity follows, until the aliens lose patience and destroy Earth with their Digestive Gas Driven Atomic Obliteration gun.
- Aliens turn up. Every word in their language is an Earth-language obscenity. Hilarity follows, until the aliens lose patience and unleash their B-Movie Style Planetary Disintegrator.
- Aliens turn up. Every word in English turns out to be a dire insult in their language. Hilarity follows until the aliens cut loose with their Atomic Planet Blasting DeNucleation Rays.
- Aliens turn up, speaking an actual script from a 1951 episode of ‘I Love Lucy’ which they have wildly misunderstood. Hilarity follows, until – well, you can guess the rest.
What’s your take on the likelihood of a hilarious, yet disastrous alien encounter?
Copyright © Matthew Wright 2020