Of late one of my computers has been randomly blue-screening on startup. It started after Microsoft’s March update, disappeared in May, came back after the July update, and keeps on coming back. Sometimes it’s so apocalyptic a lockup that all I can do is crash the machine off at the wall and start from dead cold.
It’s taken me a while to figure the problem out via Microsoft’s help documentation. Turns out that their system always works and therefore the problem can only be between the desk and the chair. And it’s obvious when you think about it, isn’t it? Turning the computer on only involves hitting a switch and the computer does the rest. Apparently if someone can’t get something working when all they have to do is hit a single switch, they have to ask whether they should really be using a computer at all.
See? Either Microsoft borked the KB4540681 in March so badly that they had to publicly suspend everything except security updates until July, at which point the KB4549951 and KB4566782 updates renewed their high-speed drive into system flake-land, all while their help systems failed to acknowledge what their development arm had done. Or I’m too stupid to have a computer.
And that’s without even considering KB4566782, released on 11 August for those with Windows build 19041.450. On some installations this update blows the Win SxS folder and creates a 0x800f0988 error (I’m not making up gibberish here).
Copyright © Matthew Wright 2020