Decades ago, when I was ‘flatting’, one of my flatmates (roomies) was American – direct from Brattleboro, Vermont, in fact – and took huge delight in making jokes about the differences between American English and New Zild slang. Needless to say the Kiwi contingent of the flat (apartment) joined with great glee. Phrases like ‘can … More More fun with Kiwi slang
The other day my wife went to her hairdresser. A regular occurrence. As, indeed, was our conversation: [INTERIOR: house, morning] She Who Must Be Obeyed: I’m off to the hairdresser. Me [OS]: If it’s a longer bob-cut, can I call it a robert? [SFX: loud groans and jeers] Yup, the long winter evenings just FLY … More Hair today…gone tomorrow…
Ever wondered what might happen if Charlie Brown grew up and became a cyborg mercenary in a post-apocalyptic dystopia? No? Me neither. But a guy named Jason Yungbluth did. Hitting No. 1 on my weird list (and maybe yours…) 1. Weapon Brown. Published here: http://www.whatisdeepfried.com/ Warning – it’s a graphic novel, and it’s seriously graphic (no … More The irresistible list of four fun weird things
New Zealand is a cool place to live in because if you go out for the day, your mates might replace your tap water with beer: And New Zealand is a cool place to live in because we teach dogs how to drive cars. Really! Just a couple of snippets for a mid-week laugh. I … More New Zealand is a cool place because…
This is a hoarding half way down one of the motorways in Wellington, New Zealand. You can’t miss it. It’s a beer advertisement. Tui is one of our major national brands, made in Mangatainoka, not far from the southern Hawke’s Bay town of Woodville. They’ve been running the ‘yeah right’ campaign for years. The slogan … More Don’t complain about reported US internet surveillance. Use it to sell beer.
I spotted a sign down Wellington’s Lambton Quay last week that I just had to photograph and share. In four lines it had not one but three epic fail apostrophe errors. Three. The thing is, this wasn’t a cheap sign. Not by any stretch. And now, someone’s going to have to pay again, to get … More Son of return of the wandering apostrophe, part 486
Today New Line Cinema revealed Tauriel, an elf warrior from Mirkwood, part of Peter Jackson’s Hobbit cast. It’s part of the build-up to the new movie, but the character never existed in any of Tolkien’s works, and when I add that to the rather loose adaptation of the first movie, I can’t help thinking that the … More Sneaking a peek at a character from the second Hobbit movie
The other day, as far as I can tell from the analytics, someone tried to Google translate one of my blog pages from English to English. Cool. Uh…I think. Ever had your blog found by something odd? Happens to me so often I swear I’m being Google-bombed. Here are the top strings people typed to … More What’s your hottest Google Gotcha?
Welcome to the Acme Miracle Editorial Version Tracking Process, designed to create the maximum possible editorial confusion while keeping the content as far from completion as possible. As used by civil servants. 1. Insert the word ‘final’ into the filename as early as possible. 2. When it’s edited (again), create a relative qualifier. ‘New final’, as … More Introducing the Acme Miracle Editorial Version Tracking Process
Ever got frustrated dodging lunch time crowds on busy city streets? Don’t worry. It’s all part of the Secret Footpath Protocol Scoring Game, revealed here for the first time. 1. Walking very slowly, randomly drifting from left to right, oblivious to other people. One point for every person blocked. 2. Lighting a cigarette and leaving … More The secret footpath protocol scoring game
Matthew Wright 
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