What’s the secret to making a YouTube channel go viral? I certainly want to know. I write full time, and the way to make a small fortune from writing is to start with a large one. But YouTube – well, all you have to do is start a channel, go viral, and money flows in. … More How to make a YouTube channel go viral
I’ve decided to call defeat over conspiracy theories. You can’t stop ‘em or change the minds of anybody who believes them. So I’ve decided to join them. From here on, I’m a believer in every conspiracy theory around, especially the ones that contradict each other. So yes, the moon landings were faked (six times), and … More Why I believe every conspiracy theory, including the ones that contradict each other
I haven’t posted here for the past couple of weeks. Time to run my blog has been a bit sparse. Why? You’ll find out soon. Meanwhile have a guess as to what’s been going on. Have I been… Kidnapped by aliens from the planet Zorg. Founded a death metal band and got busy recording a … More Missing in action – a bit
A short play that I wrote. As the curtain rises we see Dr CALAMARI at work. He is a typical mad scientist with a shock of hair and a white lab coat, tending to a maze of glass tubes filled with violently boiling liquids. CALAMARI: Kokol? His assistant enters. Kokol is a classic 1930s mad-scientist … More How to conquer time with a DeLorean
I often wonder, in idle moments, how we might talk to aliens if they turned up suddenly. The problem is that aliens are – well, alien. Picture the scene: Aliens turn up. Their language, to our ears, has just one word, ‘blubbleblop’. Nobody realises they communicate by eye movement and the sound is a product … More Will we ever understand aliens?
When I was a lad with the dream of being a full-time writer, I often imagined it as the kind of life you might have where avalanches of money just pour in from royalties and you’re there in your 200-room mansion, private jet parked outside, slaves servants running around doing everything, and generally having a … More A day in the life of a writer – Part 1.
I got a new piece of astronomy software the other day, letting me run simulations according to the laws of physics, however implausible the scenario. I thought it might be fun to see what would happen if a rogue orange-tinted dwarf star – smaller than the average star, but not excessively so – was cut … More The Tangerine Peril destroys the Earth!
The thing about soap operas is that they never end. Never. Not ever. No matter how execrable the plotlines. You know what I mean – those story arcs about everyday suburban life where Character X dies after being drugged and tied upside-down to the mast of a yacht in a hurricane by pirates, escaping, but … More How Shortland Street should end (but won’t)
The problem with going to Mars (of which the Moon, I am told, is a part) is that it’s not just a long way off, it’s also kind of desolate. No atmosphere to speak of. Barren. Waterless, except a bit. Was once a fertile place. Then it suffered climate change. All that was about three … More Let’s go to Mars (of which the Moon is a part)
It had to be 1 April, of course. Naturally. On a dark country back-road with no other witnesses, the sort of place with permanent rain that private detectives in Borsalino fedoras and trench coats haunt for no better reason than that it looks good to be there. It felt like a Friday night, the sort … More My close encounter of the hard boiled kind