One of my pet irritations about Christmas is the zombie mall frenzy, when shoppers go into a kind of trance amidst the glitz and glitter of the mall and start shelling out cash for chintzy consumer items made of cheap plastic. Most of these gee-gaws break 28 seconds after being unwrapped, and by 29 December … More Where did the commercial Christmas zombie frenzy start?
OK, so I went to Armageddon this weekend – the annual sci-fi festival held in my city of Wellington. I hadn’t actually been to an Armageddon event before, though I am a bit of a sci-fi fan. This year’s star guests included Ted Raimi and a lot of people I hadn’t heard of. So I’m … More And so I went to Armageddon
It’s Christmas again, and that means another zombie shopping frenzy at the local mall. It’s the same every year (just like my posts whinging about them). As far as I am concerned even at the best of times malls are vampires that suck money and will-to-live. Shopping in the mall for me consists of hurtling into … More And here we go with another zombie Christmas shopping frenzy
I spend quite a bit of time wondering about the zombie apocalypse. Like why I and a few drinking buddies will be sole humans out of 7 billion who aren’t turned into zombies? If I put gym treadmills outside every window on my house, will that be enough to stop the zombies coming in, and … More Why ebola puts the zombie apocalypse into proper perspective
We went to the local mall on Sunday. It was packed, of course, with the usual shopping zombies, their minds destroyed by the glitz and glam. Whenever we visit the mall, She Who Must Be Obeyed forbids me to shuffle along behind them, matching their gait and murmuring “braaaaiiins….” Well, I’m not forbidden, but she … More Looking for the missing spirit of Christmas…with zombies…
it’s Christmas again…and that means a visit to (dramatic chord)… The Mall. It’s the same every year. The endless shuffle of zombiefied shoppers, drifting around shiny glass-and-glitz caverns, a mass of humanity with glazed eyes and shopping bags, punctuated by toddlers who lurch aimlessly out from the crowd, shrieking and hyperventilating. There are teenage boys … More Running the zombie Christmas mall gauntlet
Last Sunday my wife and I went to the local mall looking for a pair of trousers. About ten minutes into our slow zombie shuffle with the other shoppers through glitz-riddled corridors of terror I leaned over and murmured to my wife, sotto voce, ‘Brains…braaaaaiiins…’ Alas, the escape code didn’t work. We had to get the … More Shopping for a really spectacular pair of trousers