I am a great enthusiast for found humour. You know – stuff in everyday life that’s a complete crack-up. The highlight the other week, for me, was a menu featuring ‘Goujons of Fish’, which had all sorts of possibilities. ‘Goujon’. A cool word, and so bursting with potential for scurrilous-sounding meanings. Say it slowly. ‘Goujon.’ … More On the wonders of found humour and fish goujons
I’ve had some ideas lately for some really great inventions… The Pinwheel. Applies to any modern twin-jet. Instead of hanging the two engines as close to the fuselage as possible, why not stick them on the wingtips? It’ll be quieter for passengers and – even better – the engines can act as an anti-flutter weight. … More My latest inventions – what could POSSIBLY go wrong?
I’ve found a way to save hours on housework. These methods are so good I don’t know why everybody doesn’t just use them. Microwave oven. Surprisingly, these need cleaning. The best way to do it is by chucking a bar of tallow-based soap into the unit and turning it on for three minutes. The soap … More Handy household cleaning hacks, part 892
Being summer and all that in the southern hemisphere I figured I should finish up the year with a small homage to summer clothes, Kiwi bloke style. Disclaimer: I have none of these in my own wardrobe. 1. Walk shorts. Style: Short trousers for men, same style as a business suit but stopping mid-thigh. Accompanied … More Summer sartorialism, Kiwi style
I use a lot of words in my books. Most of them are words such as ‘and’, ‘it’, ‘the’ and so on. But every so often I try to stretch that vocabulary a bit. Here’s a list of words I’d like to use in future, ideally in the same sentence or two: adiabatic (I might … More Words I want to use in my books
For your amusement, here’s a post I wrote in 2012 (enter TARDIS sound…) +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ I don’t know why the seventh planet out from the Sun is the butt of so many jokes. Well, I do. and it’s lame, lame, lame. So today I’m going to get to the bottom of it, as it were. More … More Why the name of the seventh planet is funny – redux
Instruments I have played the ‘Smoke On The Water’ riff on: 1. Various pianos, except a Bosendorfer 91-note grand, on which I played ‘Louie Louie’. 2. Moog Modular Model 15 (lead only, I don’t own this one, it’s the modular they produced in a suitcase for carrying around gigs, but I DID once tyre-kick my … More The Smoke On The Water riff vs my vintage synthesiser collection